How to Transform Your Money Problems in Marriage into a Sizzling Romantic Fairy Tailby Rose Corteau
What if money could become the most exciting thing you and your spouse talked about? What if money became the thing that sealed your relationship rather than tear it apart? What if money reduced stress in your marriage rather than create it? How would you feel? It can happen. Money is a symbol. It represents different things to different people. For example, Sally’s family spent money lavishly on gifts for family members – spending money represented love to Sally. Meanwhile, Pete’s family always saved for a rainy day and Pete put away every dime he earned to pay for college. Being frugal and taking care of the future represented love to Pete. When Sally and Pete got married, their different perspectives caused money problems in their marriage. Sally found Pete’s lack of spending a sign that he did not love her and Pete found Sally’s spending a sign that she had no respect for him. How can we resolve something this sensitive and how can we save our marriage from being destroyed over money issues? The first thing to do is to stop the blame and shame game with your spouse. One of the biggest secrets to success of any kind is to stop focusing on the problem and start focusing on the solution. 5 Steps you can take now to transform your money problems in marriage into money solutions? 1. Start with the end in mind and work backwards - You and your spouse need to start dreaming again. Write down a short term goal that both of you can get excited about. Make it something fun. It can be a romantic getaway or a kayaking trip. Be as specific as you can. Get all the details for this dream. Plan it like you would a honeymoon. Perhaps you want to take your family to Disney Land. Know exactly where you would go or what you would do and work out exactly what this is going to cost you. Having something to look forward to gives you focus. 2. Begin talking money today – Get out the pen and paper. Look over all your financial information. Pull credits reports, talk about how much you two earn, your monthly expenses, how much you have saved up in retirement accounts, and what all your existing loan and credit debts are. Know your net worth (All your assets minus all your debts) 3. Create a plan of action – Decide between the two of you who will make sure the bills get paid and how much money you will place into savings each month to create a joint emergency fund, or a down payment, or a retirement nest egg. 4. Set up a seperate account for your dream - This is the fun part. Set up an entirely separate account for the short term goal or dream that you discussed above – call it your Dream Fund Account. Once you have identified your total income and expenses and created a plan for handling money, take a look at your budget. How much can you put aside every week to achieve this dream? . Can you put $20 a week into this dream account? Perhaps you each can pack a lunch to work 2 or 3 days a week? Would this give you an extra $30 or $50 a week? Are you getting the idea? You need to be creative. What can you change in your budget, without too much effort, to fund your dream? 5. Set Regular Date Nights To Talk About Money – At least once a month. The idea is to talk through issues. Talk about your hopes and dreams and other plans for spending money. This should be fun and inspiring for both of you. Set some long term goals and have an action plan. By following these 5 steps, you will achieve a plan of action on how to manage your money. You will know exactly where your money is going, how much you have to spend, what your budget is and what you need to do in order to reach your goals. This should reduce the stress in your marriage significantly. Who says dreams can't come true? There’s no better way to create intimacy in your marriage than sharing financial goals, having a dream and believing in your partner’s dreams. It is a surefire recipe for transforming your money problems in marriage into a Fairy Tail Romance……
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